QUOTATIONS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP (1)

• I would rather have a million friends than a million dollars. ~ Eddie Rickenbacker
• Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts. ~Margaret Lee Runbeck, Answer Without Ceasing
• A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. ~Douglas Pagel
• Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~Author Unknown
• A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. ~Leo Buscaglia
• Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Sicilian Proverb
• The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. ~Aristotle
• In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Copied from The Quote Garden To be continued.....

Article 23 - THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR

THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR
By: Brian Tracy

The Communication Process
The ancient Greeks taught that all conversation involved three ingredients: Ethos, or the character of the speaker; Pathos, connecting with the emotions; and Logos. The logos discussed by the Greeks refers to the factual content of a message, the words used. It refers to the argument that you present on behalf of your point of view. (However, we know that the facts themselves, although they are important, are not as powerful or as influential as the emotions are).

The Selling Process
In selling, we know that there are three parts to the process. These are, first, establishing rapport with the prospective customer, second, identifying the problem or need that the prospective customer has and, third, presenting the solution. These are the ethos, the pathos and the logos of selling to someone.

Build Good Relationships
Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time. In the world of business and sales today, relationships are everything. We often call this the "friendship factor." We have discovered that a person will not do business with you until he or she is convinced that you are his or her friend and are acting in his or her best interest. In other words, you cannot influence someone unless he or she likes you in some way. Of course, it's often possible for you to influence a person if he fears you, but that type of influence lasts only until the person can rearrange his situation and escape from the circumstances that enable you to have control over him.

How to Influence and Persuade Others
The way to influence people, then, is to earn their liking and respect, to appeal to the friendship factor. This requires spending time with him, caring for him and respecting him. The more time that you are willing to spend with the person, the greater will be his tendency to trust you and to feel that you are acting in his best interest. The more obvious it is that you care about the person, about what he really needs, the more likely it is that he will be open to your influence. This is even more important in your personal relationships, with your family and friends. The more that people feel you care about them, the more open they will be to your influence.

Action Exercises
First, slow down when you first meet a person in a business or sales situation. Take some time to build a relationship with him or her before you proceed to business matters. Second, appeal to the friendship factor that underlies all good business and personal relationships. Ask questions about the person and his or her life and concerns. Listen attentively to the answers. Focus on the relationship first.

Article 22 - BE OPTIMIST

BE AN OPTIMIST AT ALL TIMES
By: Brian Tracy

Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. The true measure of "mental fitness" is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life. In this newsletter, you learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.

Control Your Reactions and Responses
There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.


Isolate the Incident
The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.

See Setbacks As Temporary Events
For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.

Don't Take Failure Personally
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control. If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, "Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day. "The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him.

Remain Calm and Objective
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted.

Take the Long View
Look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situation as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence of inability. Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events but you can control the way you react to them.

Action Exercises
Now, here are three actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, remind yourself continually that setbacks are only temporary, they will soon be past and nothing is as serious as you think it is.
Second, look upon each problem as a specific event, not connected to other events and not indicative of a pattern of any kind. Deal with it and get on with your life.Third, recognize that when things go wrong, they are usually caused by a variety of external events. Say to yourself, "What can't be cured must be endured," and then get back to thinking about your goals

Article 21 - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Got this article from someone I forgot his/her name. Hope it's useful for us.

Learning To Deal With Difficult People

The Buttom Line:
Difficult people can make your work day less enjoyable. With the right strategies, you can learn to deal with them effectively. If you have to work with difficult people every day, you probably dread going to work each morning. What's more, you might get so stressed that you can't concentrate on the job.

Have you ever wondered why some people are difficult to work with?

“Individuals behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action. Worst of all, they appear immune to all the usual methods of communication and persuasion designed to convince or help them change their ways,” says Robert M. Bramson, Ph.D., author of coping With Difficult People.

Bramson offers the following strategies for coping with such people.

How to Cope
Avoid these “don'ts” when dealing with difficult people: Don't take dfficult people's behavior personally. Their troublesome behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact. Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur. Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more. Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior. Here's how you can cope effectively with four common types of difficult people.

Openly Aggressive People
Stand up to them, but don't fight. Overly aggressive people expect others to either run away from them or react with rage. Your goal is simply to assertively express your own views, not try to win a battle of right and wrong. First, wait for the person to run out of some steam. Then call the person by name and assert your own opinions with confidence.

Snipers
Difficult people are experts at taking potshots and making sneak attacks in subtle ways, such as humorous put-downs, sarcastic tones of voice, disapproving looks and innuendoes. You may feel uncomfortable replying to them because you don't like confrontation. This, however, allows snipers to get away with their covert hostility. Respond to a sniper with a question. “That sounds like you're making fun of me. Are you?” A sniper usually replies to such accusations with denial, “I'm only joking.” Nevertheless, questioning covert attacks will reduce the chance for similar attacks in the future.

Complainers
These are fearful people who have little faith in themselves and others because they believe in a hostile world. Their constant discouragement and complaining can bring everyone to despair. “Don't try to argue these difficult people out of their negativity. Instead, respond with your own optimistic expectations,” says Bramson.

Silent People
People who ignore you, give you sullen looks, and/or respond to every question with either “I don't know” or silence are difficult because they're timid. Silent people get away with not talking because most people are uncomfortable with silence and are too quick to fill in the gaps. Ask them questions that can't be answered with just a “yes” or “no,” such as, “Why is it uncomfortable for you to answer my questions?” Then wait at least one full minute before you say anything. This long silence may make them uncomfortable enough to say something. If they do start talking, listen carefully.

Don't Give Up
Dealing with difficult people takes practice, so don't get discouraged. Although these strategies won't change the difficult people, they will break their ability to interfere with your effectiveness,” says Bramson. “Most important, you'll feel more confident and you'll start to enjoy your workdays.”

QUOTES ABOUT BEING YOURSELF (1)

Quoted from Quote Garden

• To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~E.E. Cummings, 1955
• He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull
• God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare
• All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"
• The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie
• Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905
• Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

To be continued.....

Tips 1e - HOW TO BETTER MANAGE YOURSELF (5)

How To Better Manage Yourself (5) - continued

• Tell someone else what you are doing to keep on schedule. It keeps you committed.
• Make each day the best day of the week.
• Network with others in the organization to stay informed of who is doing what, when, where, and for whom.
• Use even small "pockets of time" to make lists, write notes and consider ideas.
• Consciously decide what are some things you are NOT going to do.
• Be willing to ask that a staff meeting be called to clarify a specific issue.
• Purposely schedule something you enjoy between routine projects. It will help rejuvenate you.
• Schedule a block of time periodically to take a big bite out of a major project.
• Realize "energy begets energy." Act and energy will flow.
• Time your routine activities such as telephone calls. Determine how you can "capture" some of the time and use it on other top priority activities.
• Be a "doer" not a "sitter."
• Sense the pride you will feel when you have completed a project.
• "He who kills time buries opportunities."
• Meditate according to your personal beliefs at the beginning of each day.
• Create the right "mind set" for success by adjusting your attitude for the upcoming project.
• Stay interested in what you are doing. Keep looking for what is interesting in your work. Change your perspective and look at it as someone outside your job would
• Do not get hung-up on trivial details or tangents. Stay focused and moving.
• Always carry a pen or pencil and paper on which you can make notes.
• Do not accept calls for the first 15 minutes of the day while you prepare your daily strategy.
• Contemplating, meditating on, thinking about, or praying about the activities and success of the workday focuses energy toward that end result.
• Nest activities to available waiting time. Take a bite out of your elephant-sized project.
• Establish personal incentives and rewards to help maintain your own high enthusiasm and performance level